How a single filler word shapes what your patients hear and what your team feels.
Merriam-Webster tells us that one way to reinforce the word “just” is with “only” or “simply.” In its true sense, “just” is a minimizing word, and used correctly it has its place. The trouble is that it has become a filler word for so many of us, and it affects decisions, perceptions, and opinions far more than we realize.
I’ve had plenty of negative experiences with the word as a leader and as a team member, and that makes it one of those things we have the opportunity to reframe and change. Think about a time you went to buy something specific, and it wasn’t available, but a slightly better version was, and it was just a few dollars more. So you bought it to make your life easier. Simple choice, no ill intention behind it. But that “just” means something to someone else, and that’s the point. To you it’s just a few dollars. To someone struggling to make ends meet, those few dollars can be the difference between buying the product at all. The “just” in that moment wasn’t really about the money. It was a mentality. That word carries more weight in our lives than we give it credit for, and it’s worth sitting with the effect it has.
Now take that same mentality into a treatment presentation.
I know this idea has probably crossed the reader’s desk before, but I want to drive home how much our word choices matter and what we can reach for instead. It isn’t only about swapping one word for another. It’s the mindfulness behind it, and that same mindfulness applies to a whole range of words we lean on without thinking.
We’ve all heard a treatment presented something like this: “Oh, it’s not a big deal, it’s just a filling.” What does that even mean? That it’s cheap? That it won’t hurt? That the patient doesn’t really have to complete it because it isn’t important? That it’s a simple procedure? The truth is that to the person receiving the news, it can mean any of those things. That one filler word may have sent your patient spiraling into anxiety and hesitation. It may be the difference between a patient who moves forward with treatment and one who leaves the office and never comes back. You said it’s just a filling, and now the patient is the one negating its importance. The words we use matter, and the mindfulness behind them matters just as much. It isn’t easy, and doing it well every time is hard, but making the effort beats accepting that it is what it is.
So what should we say? That’s what people really want to know.
In the case of a filling, it starts with knowing your patient and having a relationship with them. What do they value? If they respond well to health information, frame it that way: “We found a cavity on your back molar that needs to be filled. Left alone it will keep deteriorating and can lead to infection.” Craft what you say on purpose. If you know cost weighs on them, try something like: “We found a cavity on your back molar that needs to be filled before it deteriorates further. We have several payment options we can walk through so we can take care of it before infection sets in.” Same finding, different patient, different words.
The same thing happens with time. “It’s a quick procedure, it should just take thirty minutes or so.” But thirty minutes in the chair, and that’s assuming nothing holds you up once you start drilling, is not just thirty minutes for the patient. They have to plan travel to and from the office. They have to account for the time and the money they lose by stepping away from work for the appointment. It’s not just anything, so don’t minimize it. Own it.
So what do we say instead? Same as before. Be mindful, and know your patient. Say you know this person has Fridays off. “This procedure will take about thirty minutes, and I know Fridays tend to work well for you, so let’s get you in this Friday and take care of it.” That small shift makes a real difference. It builds trust, it makes the patient feel important, and it moves the needle forward on treatment.
This has hit close to home for me in leadership, too. A team member once came to me with a last-minute request for time off, and both of us led with a “just” mentality. She needed to leave an hour early the next day for an appointment and put it to me as, “I need to leave early tomorrow, but it’s just an hour.” For context, in early childhood education there are licensing requirements around ratios, meaning how many children we can have per adult for proper care. So my first thought was, how do I cover her leaving and still meet ratio? It isn’t just an hour. It’s before the children go home, and it needs coverage. And as the leader, I answered with, “I don’t know if we can make that work. Can’t you just move the appointment an hour later?”
You can see where that was heading. Both of us led with “just,” both of us were dismissing the other, and we were going to get nowhere. She would feel unappreciated. I would feel stressed with her. Someone was going to walk away unhappy. This was a leadership opportunity, and it could have gone any number of ways. There was no clearly right or wrong decision. What mattered was the mindfulness in the approach.
Take the “just” out of both sentences and the whole exchange loses its edge. “I need to leave early for an appointment. It’s an hour.” Now the leader can plan coverage and get her out the door. Or the leader says, “I don’t know if we can make that work. Can you move the appointment an hour later?” and she walks away to make a call and find out, rather than feeling attacked. That one word carries an incredible amount.
In the real moment, that is close to what happened. I caught the “just” in my own response before it turned into a flat no, looked at the next day’s options, and shifted a few team members into different rooms for the afternoon. She got out early, ratio held, and she left feeling appreciated rather than dismissed. The mentality shaped how that conversation started, but it did not have to decide how it ended.
It isn’t only the words. It’s the mindfulness behind them. Other words do the same thing, like “but” and “only.” The words themselves aren’t negative; how we use them can be. Turn down a party invitation with, “I’m sorry I can’t come, but I wish I could,” and it reads like a cop-out that shrinks the person’s place in your life. Say instead, “I’m sorry I can’t come, and I hope you have an amazing time. Let’s get together soon.” What a difference.
By now some readers are thinking, so I have to weigh everything I say and can’t speak freely for fear of upsetting someone? Not exactly. Stop and think before you respond in as many cases as you can. The pause to gather your thoughts is okay, and that’s a whole other topic worth writing about on its own. There will be times you slip, and that’s okay too. Knowing the power of your words, shifting course, and even apologizing when something came across differently than you meant it to is what matters.
So here is the challenge. For the next week, listen for “just” in your own office, in a treatment presentation, in a scheduling conversation, in the way your team talks to one another and to your patients. When you catch it, stop and ask what the mindful version sounds like instead. You will not get it right every time, and you don’t have to. But being mindful of your words, and of the intention behind them, is what builds trust, moves treatment forward, and makes the people around you feel valued. When it comes to the words we choose, there is nothing just about it.
