There’s a stat that stops people cold every time I bring it up: most working adults spend more waking hours with their coworkers than they do with their own families. Let that sit for a second. That’s not a complaint — it’s just reality. And in that reality, conflict isn’t a sign that something has gone wrong. It’s a sign that human beings are showing up every day and bringing their full selves to work.
Conflict in a dental practice doesn’t always look like a blowup in the break room. More often, it’s a quiet friction — a rift between two people on the team that slows things down, changes the energy in the room, and slowly chips away at morale if it doesn’t get addressed. As a leader, how you respond to those moments says everything about the kind of culture you’re building.
Step One: Just Listen
Before anything else, practice active listening — and I mean truly practice it, because it’s harder than it sounds. When someone brings a conflict to you, your instinct might be to start forming a response while they’re still talking. Fight that instinct. Your only job in that moment is to hear them. Not to problem-solve, not to referee — just listen.
When they’re done, repeat back what you heard. Not a summary or a verdict — just a reflection. “So what I’m hearing is…” That simple act of validation can be the resolution. Some people aren’t looking for you to fix anything. They need to feel heard and understood before they can move forward. You’d be surprised how often the conflict starts to dissolve right there.
“The validation of being heard could resolve the conflict right there. Some people are just wired to need that — to be heard and understood for feeling a certain way.”
Step Two: Guide Them to Their Own Answer
If active listening doesn’t close the loop, the next move isn’t to hand down a decision — it’s to ask questions. Open-ended ones. What would a resolution look like for you? How do you think this could be handled differently going forward? Lead the conversation, but let both parties do the work of solving it.
This approach does something powerful: it gives people ownership over the outcome. When someone arrives at a solution themselves — even with your guidance — they’re far more likely to honor it. You’re not the answer in this step. You’re the process.
Step Three: Make the Call When You Have To
There will be times when the conversation doesn’t get there on its own. Both people are too close to it. The friction is affecting patient experience or team function and you can’t wait. In those moments, it’s okay to step in and make the call.
That doesn’t mean you’ve become a different kind of leader. It doesn’t mean your approach has changed. It just means this particular situation required outside intervention — and you were willing to be that person. Before you make that call, ask yourself two questions: What’s best for the practice in this situation? And: How would I want this resolved if I were on the other side? Those two questions together keep your decisions grounded in both the business and the people.
Don’t Let the Hard Ones Change You
Most conflicts will resolve quickly and cleanly. The active listening does its job, or the open-ended questions find an answer, and the team moves forward. But there will be difficult ones — the ones that linger, the ones that involve people you care about, the ones where every option feels imperfect.
Don’t let those drag you down and reshape how you show up for your team. Who you are in the easy moments isn’t really being tested. Who you are in the hard ones — that’s where leadership is built. Lean into it.
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